When parents separate and divorce, Halloween typically isn’t at the top of the list of holidays they negotiate custody and visitation around. Whether you’re still working out your agreements and parenting plan or you already have one in place, you may not have any specific mention of this holiday.
If this will be your child’s first Halloween since you began dividing your parenting time, however, it’s a good idea to start thinking about how you’ll share the holiday with your child this year (and until they’re old enough to make plans that don’t involve you). There’s no one “right” way to do it. What’s important to keep in mind is what will best allow your child to celebrate the holiday and the season while they’re still young enough to be excited about it.
A holiday that stretches over weeks
Remember that Halloween is a lot more than one evening of trick-or-treating. There’s pumpkin selection and carving, decorating, costume making, school, neighborhood, church or other events, corn mazes (which are especially plentiful here in Indiana), haunted houses and just watching Halloween movies at home.
Most kids won’t pass up the opportunity to do some of these things twice – with each parent. However, it’s still best to coordinate some activities with your co-parent – and to check in with your child to see what they are especially looking forward to doing.
The big night
If either or both of you live in a neighborhood where kids trick-or-treat, you’ll want to work out who will have the child that evening (even if it’s not a scheduled parenting day). Some parents leave the trick-or-treating to one of them and then trade off the next year. Others do it together if they can amicably manage it. If the parents of one of your child’s friends offer to take them along, that might be the best solution.
The important thing is to work this out in advance. Most kids like to know what the plan is for big days so they can look forward to it and talk about it with their friends. You and your co-parent shouldn’t still be battling over it on Halloween morning.
Remember that this is just the beginning of a busy holiday season. If there are other holidays coming up that you haven’t solidified parenting time for, now is the time to do it. Make sure you have sound legal guidance to codify things correctly and protect your rights.
